I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
