Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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