We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
