just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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