i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
