dude i'm inner monologue high
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
there is glitter all over my balls
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
