Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
