At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
