Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
