tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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