I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my moral compass just broke
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
