We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
