well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
