Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
