dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
