You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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