This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
