Grow some girl-balls and come out already
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
