Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
