What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
