did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
