you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
