it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
