she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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