If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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