She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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