he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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