I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
