HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
