He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
