His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
