Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
