Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
