i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
