ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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