I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
