i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
