He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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