My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I supernannyed him into submission
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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