He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
