She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
