discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
