If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
