There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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