I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
