Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
