Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
