You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
