yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUCK WHALES
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
