Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
