I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
