go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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