I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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