Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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